Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Alex F.'s LiveJournal:

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Friday, March 6th, 2009
1:52 am	I've got a new favorite song-of-the-moment January, 1979 saw a terrible crash and i couldn't help but laugh, As my ear pressed against the past like a glass on a wall of a house in a photograph. My forehead no longer sweet with holy kisses worthy of your fiery lips. I was floating in a peaceful sea rescued by a sinking ship. If I could become the servant of all, no lower place to fall. (If could be your servant) You watch me like a ten car highway wreck with detached, vulgar curiosity. Us looking down at the tops of the hats of the passers-by from your 7th floor balcony. From such a height you missed creatures too small for sight carry on covert conversations. And the misguided insects crowned me their grasshopper king with a dance of celebration. After years with a crown on my head, I've grown overfed, unconcerned and comfortably numb. Kept busy indulging in the pleasures of the wealthy. (Someone make me afraid of what I've become!) At the first sign of possible sorrow, I turned my heels and ran. (Oh, I'll never learn.) My life is a cup of sugar I've borrowed before time began and forgot to return. It was a matter of time--I always said I could see so now I'm going blind. (I could be your servant) It was a matter of miserable time-- but I heard somewhere there was a cure for useless eyes? Current Music: January 1979 - mewithoutYou (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 5th, 2009
11:33 am	Throw out everything you know about science for a minute. Do you think a door exists that opens to the past? And do you think that you could ever find it? (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 1st, 2009
2:03 pm	I struggle to rationalize the things that I experience. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 27th, 2009
1:42 am	rage at materials science i can't wait until i never have to write another lab ever again ever (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 19th, 2009
2:48 am	I wonder what I'll become epic for? Current Music: What Else Is There? [Live] - Royksopp (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 2nd, 2009
2:30 am	Real life doesn't offer much opportunity to be a hero these days. I don't think I'd mind burning twice as bright. Current Music: M83 (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 23rd, 2008
4:01 am	frigging sleep schedule I messed up my sleep schedule. I am going to go to bed now, but first... http://www.faceyourmanga.it/faceyourmanga.php?lang=eng I made one out of non-sleepiness: I've never been much good at these. I couldn't get a right hairstyle, and they didn't have proper beard-options. I had to go for classic non-bearded Alex. I thought it came out...ok. Not great but ok. I've seen some really impressive ones though! Some people can make spitting image likenesses! If you're bored enough, I'd love to see some. I also made one of Jennifer. But I won't show it to her unless she makes her own first (hear that?) muwahaha Ok sleepytiems. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 21st, 2008
1:31 am	Well, I haven't updated this dealie since September. I should go to bed, but I refuse to learn the lesson that going to bed decreases tiredness, so I won't yet. I'll do this instead. I guess I'll just let this flow wherever my mind wants to take it. There probably won't be anything spectacular in here, so don't expect it. This is spontaneous. Off-the-cuff if you will. On a whim, yes? I am listening to The Get Up Kids right now. I've never listened to their stuff before, but I'm digging it. It sounds like something I would have liked more during the beginning of High School though. I'm glad I'm out of high school. I love living on my own, doing what I like when I like. Nothing beats that. I'm still working hard, like a good college student should be. I've learned a lot about machining recently. I now know how to use a lathe, a sheer, a ban-saw, a tap wrench, a drill press, and a host of other devices used in the transformation of metal. It's pretty awesome. I'm taking Engineering Processes next semester, even though I don't have to. I just want to learn how all of that stuff works. It just seems something that an engineer should know how to do. I need to start buying Christmas stuff. Presents, decorations, and cookies and whatnot. For some reason, the Christmas season reminds me of Sonic Adventure. It brings back memories of staying up in my cousin Joe's bedroom late into winter nights, plugging away at his Dreamcast like the fervent little gamers we used to be. It also reminds me of the hours I spent in my TV room with a fire going, wearing a sweater, my mom and some of my former schoolteachers (and friends of the family) making Christmas greens arrangements in the kitchen, Dreamcast disc spinning all the while. I don't have gaming memories plunked so fondly into my memories anymore. That's kind of sad =( I miss those moments that gave you a special feeling when you think back to them. I wish I was good at guitar. I'd write songs in minor chords that would knock your socks off. I think I'd be particularly romantic if I could play the guitar and sing sweet songs with it. Seriously, that's so cliche, it'd be too sweet to not love. Too bad I suck at it. Oh well. I'd be a doofus doing that anyway. I'm about ready for it to be Thanksgiving. I would like to see my family again, even though my opinions of my extended family just seem to get worse and worse. I guess when I was a kid I saw them as being flawless. They were the pillars of what I understood adults to be. The older I get, the more flaws I find...and the more these flaws scream at me. Some of my aunts and uncles are just...well, I wouldn't like them if I wasn't born with the same blood as them. I guess everyone has to be somewhere. I still love em, they're family, you have to. I don't hold their faults against them, but I disagree with their behaviors and some of their beliefs. They would become livid if I brought that open. I dock points from people who aren't open to criticism. While some of those family have taken a nosedive as I've gotten older, my parents on the other hand have ascended to the level of heroes in my eyes. Seriously. They're solid. Mad props to them. I see so eye-to-eye with my father on most things, it's crazy. I'm a lot like him. A crazy lot. I'm very proud to be his son. I respect everything he believes in and I wish I could keep the tendencies he displays with me my whole life. He taught me everything I know about working hard, persevering, accepting, striving to improve, and being a good person. My mom has come through a whole lot to get here, and she's doing just fine too. Neither of them are perfect, but then again, no one is. We're all just here to do the best we can, and respect the crap out of them for everything they've done thusfar. I hope I'll be that good of a parent someday. That kind of freaks me out, to tell you the truth. I dunno if I'll be able to raise my distant-future children in the best way. Shit, that's gonna be tough. I've thought about this to death (what does one who cannot turn off his mind do all day? Think the crap out of everything) and I'm legit worried about me. Mad respect to parents who've managed to bring up and raise good people. That's gotta be tough. I've been watching The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya a lot lately. It's very entertaining, very well done, and deeper than I ever realized. It's cool too, and funny. Loving it. Can't wait to watch more. I keep telling myself that I'm an extreme thinking type, but Stephan has me not so sure. He's a great guy. Even if I do dumb stuff he continues to come and hang out with me. I wonder if my friends see me as the same big idiot I see myself to be a lot. I do some stupid shit, and I say things even worse sometimes. Guys, I really don't mean any harm by it...I have this clause built into me where I want to please people and come off well. If I'm not doing that, it kinda bothers me. Sorry if I'm a douche sometimes, or at least a little annoying =\ I'm still loving mashups. Awesome. They're making me appreciate hip-hop and rap. The lyrics are still shit, but setting the background music to something I like makes the experience of listening to them actually enjoyable. I find myself singing the words standalone. Strange. I miss basketball season. It held with it a kind of camaraderie that I haven't found since. I miss those guys. They were my family for a year, and they were such in the truest since of the word. I spent more time with them then I spent at my own house, and they were always there. From Andrew being the manager to the assistant coaches to Taj, everyone watched out for each other. ALWAYS there was someone to watch your back. ALWAYS there was someone to keep an eye on you, keep you focused, encourage you to strive when you were ready to give up. You ate together, you worked together, you lived and died on the floor together. It was unique. I don't miss running my body into the ground. That was very very hard for me. But it was worth it. I miss those guys. Well this all had nothing to do with anything. I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight LJ. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 20th, 2008
12:06 pm	Photo Meme! Take a picture of yourself right now. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture. Post that picture with NO editing. (Except maybe to get the image size down to something reasonable.) Post these instructions with your picture. Sleepy Alex is sleepy. Sorry bout the ad...i guess imageshack does that now. Well...you've read this post! Gogogo! And no hair fixing! Current Music: Girl Talk (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008
1:22 am	Taking a study break, check out what I found. Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others! Is this not the best wallpaper ever?! I, for one, have a new desktop background. Also, it reminds me of Earthbound. I want to play Mother 3 :'( so badly... Anyways, enjoy the awesomeness. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 1st, 2008
6:30 pm	If you think of them it just makes you feel nice Dear Everyone, As you might know, I have a brain that never turns off. Always I am somewhere. It's not always me that's there, but never am I nowhere. I was two steps away from climbing out my window to go sit on my roof and watch my neighbors and listen to the music emanating from their garage, but I decided to write this instead. Ade just texted me and asked if I wanted to go see a movie tonight. I declined. I'm not going to go to the fire at Gallagher's either. Today is all for me =) I just ate an ice cream cone in my room. I got tired of having the icy winter in my house all the time. Everyone likes it much too cold. It's the summer, for crying out loud! I just wanted to experience my summer. So, I flung open all my blinds and opened up all my windows and closed the AC vent and closed my door. I decided to leave it like this for the rest of the summer. After that, everything started to seem more bright and clear. I felt more alive. I felt more like I used to in the summer. I read pages and pages of the book Jenn lent me. It's "The Perks of Being a Wallflower". I like it quite a bit. I can see everything the main character sees. I can feel what he feels. I've been there, at every point in his life. It all makes sense to me. It probably does to many people. That's probably why it's a popular book. Because of it though, I downloaded the song "Asleep" by The Smiths. I had never heard it before, but the main character from The Perks of Being a Wallflower seems to like it a lot. It is a very good song. I'm glad I have it to listen to now. I lay in the grass under the clouds and the sun and I realized that the grass really was as green it was in pictures, and the sky just as blue. I had forgotten that. Seriously, in all honesty, I had forgotten that life could be that clear and wonderful sometimes. Asleep really isn't a summer song, but it's a new song to me so I don't mind. Charlie, the main character of the book, also likes the song MLK by U2. Andrew gave me that one a long time ago. I believe it was on Dive #3, which was the slow one if I remember correctly. It's a good song and I'd like to listen to it now, but it's on my iPod and that's downstairs and frankly I don't feel like leaving my own pocket of summer in my room to go get it. My own pocket of summer...pft, what the hell! Summer is everywhere! It's outside running through the streets and playing in forest park and riding its bike all over colonie and exploring and swimming and playing basketball and drinking sodas from Mobil and on Peachtree. It's evaporating from towels hung over fences and it's in sandboxes with plastic army men and in a tune that floats through the air like magic on the breeze. It's in the sky and in my nostrils and on my feet and in my mind and body and in the minds and bodies of all those people who are outside now. All of those people who are alive. Alive like me. Today, I am alive. I owe Andrew a lot for making me unpopular. He started it by giving me good music. He kept it up by teaching me about all the things in life that I love so much today. He encouraged me by being there to talk on AIM and playing Magic with me and teaching me who U2 and Springsteen were. I have two best friends in the whole world. One of them is Ben, because we're both good people and no matter what happens to each of us in life, we'll always be there to listen to the other one's story. Girls and cars and families and college might wear on one of us but the other will never let the one break. It's good to have a friend like that in your life. The other best friend is Andrew. Always has been. Life is very busy now and I don't get to see my friends very often, and he's off having the time of his life at Haverford and that makes me happy. But I can only begin to imagine how he sees the world. I only dream about seeing all of life's puzzle pieces like he does and them fitting them together in ways no one else can. I know I can always rely on him for skillfully crafted words of encouragement and an uncannily well fitting tune to go along with it. I've shared memories with him that will last me a lifetime. Together, we struggled through adolescence and learned what the summer was really about. Together we faced the infernal legions and the fearsome challenges of middle school and high school and we both came out on top of our respective worlds. Times change, people move away, life happens. It happens to everyone. But I know my friends will always be my friends. And that makes me the kind of happy where you feel the little tingles in the bridge of your nose and you can't help but smile. I am faced with a sense of time that I think is rather unusual. My dad says I have a good sense of the big picture...it might be a little too good. I have a Dr. Manhattan-like ability to see myself at all times. I can see through time like you walk through a room. I just picture myself somewhere in time...and there I am. It's not so bad for memories. I like looking at where I have been. But sometimes it scares me to see where I will be going. Not that I don't like what I see...I do. I always do. It bother me that it ends. I can see myself old...I can see myself dying...and I'm happy. But that's it. Then it ends. I wonder the eternal question that so many before me have wondered. I wonder if my time is well spent. I wonder how much happiness really matters, and if I shouldn't be spending more time on something with a purpose. Should I work my whole life to learn as much as I can? Should I work my whole life to make life easier for others? Should I work my whole life to make myself happy? How much do I owe, and how much can I take? What's the greatest value of my time? How can I optimize my life? Get the most of it? How can I live to be the best that I can be? How can I know what matters? The answer to most questions is: "Everything in life is a balance." Truthfully, this is the best statement I have been able to come up with for all of the big questions. It doesn't feel quite right for the one I posed above, but...maybe it is. Maybe all you can do is try to find the best balance among learning, working, improving, and being happy. Maybe I should make it my goal to come out of here as well rounded as I can. I love being alive today. I love being alive right now. I love sitting here and writing this, my belly full of ice cream and the warm song of summer drifting in through my windows, bathing me in its grace, and exiting out the other side of the room on the wings of Brian Glikes' piano songs. I hope that as long as I live I never forget that this sort of thing exists. I forgot how green the grass was and how blue the sky could be, and that was bad enough. I hope I never lose this...that I can keep it with me in my heart and mind and body and soul until that day not so far off in the distance that I can see, where I am an old man and I am laying down to sleep while the world spins underneath, carrying with it all the effect I have ever had like eddies spinning off from the mouth of the brook and carrying themselves out to the mother ocean. Happy summer, everyone. Happy summer. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 25th, 2008
5:52 pm	Current Music: Heart Songs - Weezer (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 20th, 2008
1:58 am	(1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 14th, 2008
10:08 pm	Something A Little Less Cut-y I have this hi-res. It makes an awesome wallpaper (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 13th, 2008
3:28 pm	Say Your Goodbyes Now Current Music: "Slip Like Space" - Armor For Sleep (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 26th, 2008
11:10 pm	I don't plan on dying anytime soon, but then again neither does anybody. It could happen to any one of us, in the blink of an eye, without a sign of warning. Should my time come, God forbid, I'd just like it said that I am at peace. In the big scheme of things, things that really matter, I am not troubled nor distraught nor lost nor afraid. I am comfortable with riding the waves of fate to wherever they may take me. If it is to my death, then such is the time when it was meant to happen. And so it goes. I am at peace. I am not afraid. And may my end be far off beyond the reaches of my sight, so I can enjoy living as long as I was meant to. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 20th, 2008
2:58 am	love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love it's quite a wonderful thing, indeed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 16th, 2008
1:03 pm	Alex's Secrety Nazi Gripe Offensive Journal Entry If reading opinionated stuff gets your panties in a bunch, stop here. This entry isn't for you. If you're smart/mature enough to pass judgment based on logic and sense, then please read on. I would love feedback on whatever I write, so long as it is constructive or validly argumentative (read: you have reason behind your statements). So... I really like the Metric system. 1 millimeter x 10 = 1 centimeter 1 centimeter x 100 = 1 meter 1 meter x 1000 = 1 kilometer 1 milliliter x 10 = 1 centiliter 1 centiliter x 100 = 1 liter 1 liter x 1000 = 1 kiloliter and every interval of 10 between and beyond has it's own prefix. This makes sense. Basing a system of measure upon a denomination of 10, which is the way things are done in most aspects of the rest of the world, is a very effective way to communicate. It's efficient. One does not have to pull out charts and tables to rely on conversions. Does anyone reading actually know the value of a slug off the top of their head? Yes, that's actually the standard unit of mass in the US. "The slug is an English unit of mass. It is a mass that accelerates by 1 ft/s² when a force of one pound-force (lbf) is exerted on it. Therefore a slug has a mass of about 32.17405 pound-mass" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slug_%28mass%29 The English system is a horrible way to measure. Even Britain doesn't use the English system. Here is a complete list of countries that do not use the Metric system: Liberia Myanmar The United States of America http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metric_system So, screw the rest of the world, right? US: "Liberia, we've always been pals. Let's stick this out together. Don't ever change, ok? It's a promise." Stupid. So why is it that we do something so nonsensical? Well, it comes down to the fact that Americans are arrogant and hate change. Not anyone reading this entry, of course, but the other hundred million or so inhabitants of our country who would die off if we just removed the warning labels on everything (and that's giving the remaining 250 million a lot of credit) Seriously, standardizing our system of distance, mass, volume, and all other measurements...it would make things so much EASIER! And speaking of systems that need to be revised: Women's clothing sizes. Also, t-shirt sizes for any gender. My pants are 36/36. That's 36 inches around the waist, and 36 inches down the leg. We're going to pretend that if clothing sizes are revised, they'll be done so in a unit of measure that makes sense. Like centimeters. Like the rest of the world. I love the way my pants are measured. When I go to the store to buy new pants, I know that all of those pants on the shelf that are not 36" around the waist will not fit. I know that all of those pants that are not 36" down the leg will not fit. It makes shopping very accurate; I go to where my size is, and there are my choices. I try them on for individual variation amongst the pants, and that is that. There's no spending hours in the changing room, either the pants fit or they do not. If a certain brand doesn't fit me well, I will get a different one. I know that, amongst that different brand, my waist and leg size will remain the same. I'm not getting fatter or growing while I try these pants on. The numbers won't ever lie to me. Dress shirts are already measured numerically with a size (I believe it's the 'around the neck' size, and this works just fine for me) but t-shirts are not. I would love to see t-shirts measured with numbers, like my pants. How about from collar to bottom, and from shoulder seam to shoulder seam? This way I will know just by the numbers how long a shirt will be, and whether it will hang around my sides or not. I'm sick of fitting into Ls or XLs, or XLTs, depending on who makes the shirt. Get some numbers, standardize the system, and I'll never have to repackage and ship out a shirt I bought on the Internet ever again. So, women's sizes. Cut the shit with the "Junior" sizes and the "Size 0" and all of that corporate bullshit to give you the subconscious message that you're smaller than you actually are. You're whatever size you are, and that's just fine. Stop fucking worrying about it. If you want to lose weight, stop eating Ben & Jerry's whenever you get emotional and start going to the gym twice a week. If you don't wanna take these steps, just accept where you are and tell everyone else to shove it. Chances are no one thinks you're fat anyway. As far as shirts and other "tops" go, a numerical standard would be fine. As far as pants go, get some numbers up there. Make things make sense. You can do this with any type of clothing. I understand that clothing fits many different areas of the body in different ways. That's cool, just get more numbers. Need to measure around the chest? Around the neck? Around the shoulder? around the upper arm? Around the stomach? Around the knees? Whatever, get it done once, write it down on a card, and keep that card in your wallet. Shopping will take half the time and be twice as effective. And that's another thing. Every girl should have a wallet. You can keep it in your handbag if you want to, and have it match if that's the kind of thing you're personally worried about. But it's useful, it's organized, and it makes sense. It keeps your cash, your credit cards, your driver's license, your library card, your Subway Rewards card, etc. all conveniently located in the same spot. No more loose items dinging around so it takes you 10 minutes to find what you need. Got loose change? Get a change purse. Personally, I use pockets. Whatever helps you keep your shit in order. For girls, I'm not saying ditch the pocketbook (which is pronounced "pocket book", not "pock-a-book"). I for one am a huge advocate of collecting useless shit (anyone who has seen my basement can vouch for this) and I am completely not against carrying this aforementioned shit with you. A bag that you carry with you constantly to hold said items? That works...but it's a huge inconvenience to you and everyone else if you haven't cleaned it out since freshman year of high school so you can't find anything important. Putting a wallet in there eliminates this problem outright. I guess I should end this. It's pointless and, like I said, I'm being a huge Nazi about this sort of thing. I guess I'm just upset whenever I see things being done so...backwards. I hate it when things are done illogically, when they just don't make any sense. I've had it with this English system. I'm going to move to England. (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 2nd, 2008
7:55 pm	Current Music: Car Underwater - Armor For Sleep (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
10:46 am	So there's this bathroom stall in the JEC with a whole bunch of graffiti. Someone tried to be all cool and cryptic, writing things like "forget all hope all who enter" and spilling off a bunch of poorly worded junk about dead souls, 666, lost faith, and stuff of that nature. Amongst this, someone wrote a two lines...and some wise-ass wrote two more beneath it with a sharpie. It looked like this: The writing of the prophets is written on the walls Jock itch causing fungus is growing on my balls ... I lol'd (7 Comments |Comment on this)